The Misadventures of Cancer Girl Pt 1
- The first flight, my insulin pump was overactive, causing my blood sugar to tank. During a non-plane change layover, my CGM started sounding the “Danger, Will Robinson, Danger” alarm causing everyone to stop and stare.
- The second flight, the dude next to me kept waking me up to talk to me about his boss’s diabetes and his significant other’s breast cancer.
- The rental car company was out of economy cars and gave me a “free upgrade” to a car so big I could have parked my car in the trunk.
- GPS said my hotel was three blocks away from where it really was.
- I arrived 90 minutes before the hotel’s check in time and had to argue my way for a room.
- No in room coffee maker.
- Hotel’s “coffee” was worse than instant.
- Siri kept telling me that there was a Starbucks down the street, it was a bank. There was no Starbucks, anywhere.
- I could buy beer and wine at the gas station, but no one sells vodka because it’s a “dry” town.
- The front desk clerk had accidentally kicked the modem, knocking out the free wi-fi and they couldn’t find the IT person to reset it.
- All the hotel printers were broken so I couldn’t get my boarding passes until I got to the airport.
- A fellow diabetic spotted me using my insulin pump, so he sat next to me, and we talked target numbers. When he left, the guy at the end of the bar asked why I didn’t leave with him. And I quote, “Well you both use the same machines, so aren’t you together?”
- Third flight took off 15 minutes late because people were fighting over seats.
- I leaned over to put my insulin pump in my purse, and fell out of my chair.
- Mere sent me a text that made my phone jump out of my hands and fly across the bar.
- Mere sent me a text that made me laugh so hard, I snorted, and everyone stopped and stared.
- The third text Mere sent me got me cut off from booze even though I hadn’t had any yet.
- Fourth flight was three hours of listening to the two flight attendants talking about how anything before 1985 is old. And one of them used the word “yeah” all the time: “Yeah, yeah, yeah… so, yeah.. I told her, yeah… that I couldn’t, yeah, yeah. You know? I mean, yeah, what was I to do? Yeah. Yeah.”
But I am home. Relatively unharmed and taking a rest day to get my blood sugar back under control, reduce the fluid in my legs, and hopefully get some sleep.